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Dear Theo,
It was a clear autumn day and a beautiful walk from here to
Richmond along the Thames, in which the great chestnut trees
with their load of yellow leaves and the clear blue sky were
mirrored. Through the tops of the trees one could see that part
of Richmond which lies on the hill: the houses with their red
roofs, uncurtained windows and green gardens; and the gray
spire high above them; and below, the long grey bridge with the
tall poplars on either side, over which the people passed like
little black figures.
Ik weet aan wien ik mij vertrouwe
Al wisselen ook dag en nacht,
Ik ken de rots waarop ik bouwe,
Hij feilt niet, die mijn heil verwacht.
[I know to Whom I commit myself;
Though day and night may alternate,
I know the rock on which I build;
He Who awaits my salvation will not fail me.]
But, boy, how I am
longing for Christmas and for you all; it
seems to me I have grown years older in these few months.
Yesterday evening I was again at Richmond, and walked
through a large grassy field surrounded by trees and houses,
over which the church spire rises. The dew was lying on the
grass and the twilight was falling: on one side the sky was
still aglow from the setting sun, on the other, the moon was
rising. Under the trees an old lady with beautiful grey hair
was walking, dressed in black. In the middle of the grass plot
the boys had lit a bonfire which one could see flickering from
afar. I thought of the lines: “Once at the evening of my
life, tired from care and strife, I'll bring Thee praise more
loud and fair, for each day given to me here.”
à Dieu, a handshake from
Your loving brother, Vincent
Thursday week I hope to preach on John and Theogenes in Mr.
Jones's church. Your brother was indeed deeply moved when he
stood at the foot of the pulpit and bowed his head and prayed:
Abba, Father, in Thy name be our beginning.
Regards to Mr. and Mrs. Tersteeg and all at Roos's and to
Van Iterson and to anybody you may see whom I know.
[Enclosed was Vincent's Sermon, in English, which he gave on
29 October 1876, and wrote down for Theo]
Psalm 119: 19. `I am a stranger on the earth, hide
not Thy commandments from me.'
It is an old belief and it is a good belief, that our life
is a pilgrim's progress - that we are strangers on the earth,
but that though this be so, yet we are not alone for our Father
is with us. We are pilgrims, our life is a long walk or journey
from earth to Heaven.
The beginning of this life is this: there is only one who
remembereth no more her sorrow and her anguish for joy that a
man is born into the world. She is our Mother. The end of our
pilgrimage is the entering in Our Father's house, where are
many mansions, where He has gone before us to prepare a place
for us. The end of this life is what we call death - it is an
hour in which words are spoken, things are seen and felt, that
are kept in the secret chambers of the hearts of those who
stand by, - it is so that all of us have such things in our
hearts or forebodings of such things.
There is sorrow in the hour when a man is born into the
world, but also joy, deep and unspeakable, thankfulness so
great that it reaches the highest heavens. Yes the Angels of
God, they smile, they hope and they rejoice when a man is born
in the world. There is sorrow in the hour of death, but there
is also joy unspeakable when it is the hour of death of one who
has fought a good fight. There is one who has said: I am the
resurrection and the life, if any man believe in Me though he
were dead, yet shall he live. There was an apostle who heard a
voice from heaven saying: Blessed are they that die in the
Lord, for they rest from their labour and their works follow
them.
There is joy when a man is born in the world, but there is
greater joy when a spirit has passed through great tribulation,
when an angel is born in Heaven.
Sorrow is better than joy - and even in mirth the heart is
sad - and it is better to go to the house of mourning than to
the house of feasts, for by the sadness of the countenance the
heart is made better. Our nature is sorrowful, but for those
who have learnt and are learning to look at Jesus Christ, there
is always reason to rejoice.
It is a good word that of St. Paul: as being sorrowful yet
always rejoicing. For those who believe in Jesus Christ, there
is no death or sorrow that is not mixed with hope - no despair
- there is only a constantly being born again, a constantly
going from darkness into light. They do not mourn as those who
have no hope - Christian Faith makes life to evergreen
life.
We are pilgrims on the earth and strangers - we come from
afar and we are going far. The journey of our life goes from
the loving breast of our Mother on earth to the arms of our
Father in heaven. Everything on earth changes - we have no
abiding city here - it is the experience of everybody. That it
is God's will that we should part with what is dearest on earth
- we ourselves change in many respects, we are not what we once
were, we shall not remain what we are now. From infancy we grow
up to boys and girls - young men and women - and if God spares
us and helps us, to husbands and wives, Fathers and Mothers in
our turn, and then, slowly but surely the face that once had
the early dew of morning, gets its wrinkles, the eyes that once
beamed with youth and gladness speak of a sincere deep and
earnest sadness, though they may keep the fire of Faith, Hope
and Charity - though they may beam with God's spirit. The hair
turns grey or we lose it-ah-indeed we only pass through the
earth, we only pass through life, we are strangers and pilgrims
on the earth. The world passes and all its glory. Let our later
days be nearer to Thee, and therefore better than these.
Yet we may not live on casually hour by hour - no we have a
strife to strive and a fight to fight. What is it we must do:
we must love God with all our strength, with all our might,
with all our soul, we must love our neighbours as ourselves.
These two commandments we must keep, and if we follow after
these, if we are devoted to this, we are not alone, for our
Father in Heaven is with us, helps us and guides us, gives us
strength day by day, hour by hour, and so we can do all things
through Christ who gives us might.
We are strangers on the earth, hide not Thy commandments
from us. Open Thou our eyes that we may behold wondrous things
out of Thy law. Teach us to do Thy will and influence our
hearts that the love of Christ may constrain us and that we may
be brought to do what we must do to be saved.
On the road from earth to Heaven
Do Thou guide us with Thine eye;
We are weak but Thou art mighty,
Hold us with Thy powerful hand.
Our life, we might compare it with a journey, we go from the
place where we were born to a far-off haven. Our earlier life
might be compared to sailing on a river, but very soon the
waves become higher, the wind more violent, we are at sea
almost before we are aware of it - and the prayer from the
heart ariseth to God: Protect me 0 God, for my bark is so small
and Thy sea is so great. The heart of man is very much like the
sea, it has its storms, its tides and its depths; it has its
pearls too. The heart that seeks for God and for a Godly life
has more storms than any other. Let us see how a Psalmist
describes a storm at sea. He must have felt the storm in his
heart to describe it so. We read in the io7th Psalm:
They that go down to the sea in ships that do business in great
waters, these see the works of the Lord and His wonders in the
deep. For He commandeth and raiseth up a stormy wind, which
lifteth up the waves thereof. They mount up to Heaven, they go
down again to the depth, their soul melteth in them because of
their trouble. Then they cry unto the Lord in their trouble,
and he bringeth them out of their distresses. He bringeth them
into their desired haven.
Do we not feel this sometimes on the sea of our lives? Does
not every one of you feel with me the storms of life or their
forebodings or their recollections?
And now let us read a description of another storm at sea in
the New Testa-ment, as we find it in the Vith chapter of the
Gospel according to St. John in the 17th to the
21st verse. “And the disciples entered into a
ship and went over the sea towards Capernaum. And the sea arose
by reason of a great wind that blew. So when they had rowed
about five-and-twenty or thirty furlongs, they see Jesus
walking on the sea and drawing nigh unto the ship and they were
afraid. Then they willingly received Him into the ship and
immediately the ship was at the land whither they went.”
You who have experienced the great storms of life, you over
whom all the waves and all the billows of the Lord have gone -
have you not heard, when your heart failed for fear, the
beloved well-known voice with something in its tone that
reminded you of the voice that charmed your childhood - the
voice of Him whose name is Saviour and Prince of Peace, saying
as it were to you personally, mind to you personally: “It
is I, be not afraid.” Fear not. Let not your heart be
troubled.
And we whose lives have been calm up till now, calm in
comparison of what others have felt - let us not fear the
storms of life, amidst the high waves of the sea and under the
grey clouds of the sky we shall see Him approaching, for whom
we have so often longed and watched, Him we need so - and we
shall hear His voice: It is I, be not afraid.
And if after an hour or season of anguish or distress or
great difficulty or pain or sorrow we hear Him ask us:
“Dost thou love me?” Then let us say: Lord Thou
knowest all things, Thou knowest that I love Thee. And let us
keep that heart full of the love of Christ and may from thence
issue a life which the love of Christ constraineth, Lord Thou
knowest all things, Thou knowest that I love Thee; when we look
back on our past we feel sometimes as if we did love Thee, for
whatsoever we have loved, we loved in Thy name.
Have we not often felt as a widow and an orphan - in joy and
prosperity as well and even more than under grief - because of
the thought of Thee. Truly our soul waiteth for Thee more than
they that watch for the morning, our eyes are up unto Thee, 0
Thou who dwellest in Heaven. In our days too there can be such
a thing as seeking the Lord.
What is it we ask of God - is it a great thing? Yes, it is a
great thing, peace for the ground of our heart, rest for our
soul - give us that one thing and then we want not much more,
then we can do without many things, then can we suffer great
things for Thy name's sake. We want to know that we are Thine
and that Thou art ours, we want to be Thine - to be Christians
- we want a Father, a Father's love and a Father's approval.
May the experience of life make our eye single and fix it on
Thee. May we grow better as we go on in life. We have spoken of
the storms on the journey of life
But now let us speak of the calms and joys of Christian
life. And yet, my dear friends, let us rather cling to the
seasons of difficulty and work and sorrow, for the calms are
often treacherous. The heart has its storms, has its seasons of
drooping but also its calms and even its times of exaltation.
There is a time of sighing and of praying, but there is also a
time of answer to prayer. Weeping may endure for a night but
joy cometh in the morning.
The heart that is fainting
May grow full to overflowing
And they that behold it
Shall wonder and know not
That God at its fountains
Far off has been raining.
My peace I leave with you - we saw how there is peace even
in the storm. Thanks be to God, who has given us to be born and
to live in a Christian country. Has any one of us forgotten the
golden hours of our early days at home, and since we left that
home - for many of us have had to leave that home and to earn
their living and to make their way in the world. Has He not
brought us thus far, have we lacked anything, Lord we believe
help Thou our unbelief. I still feel the rapture, the thrill of
joy I felt when for the first time I cast a deep look in the
lives of my Parents, when I felt by instinct how much they were
Christians. And I still feel that feeling of eternal youth and
enthusiasm wherewith I went to God, saying: “I will be a
Christian too.”
Are we what we dreamt we should be? No, but still the
sorrows of life, the multitude of things of daily life and of
daily duties, so much more numerous than we expected, the
tossing to and fro in the world, they have covered it over, but
it is not dead, it sleepeth. The old eternal faith and love of
Christ, it may sleep in us but it is not dead and God can
revive it in us. But though to be born again to eternal life,
to the life of Faith, Hope and Charity, - and to an evergreen
life - to the life of a Christian and a Christian workman, be a
gift of God, a work of God - and of God alone, yet let us put
the hand to the plough on the field of our heart, let us cast
out our net once more - let us try once more. God knows the
intention of the spirit. God knows us better than we know
ourselves, for He made us and not we ourselves. He knows of
what things we have need. He knows what is good for us. May He
give us His blessing on the seed of His word, that He has sown
in our hearts.
God helping us, we shall get through life. With every
temptation he will give a way to escape.
Father we pray Thee not that Thou shouldest take us out of
the world, but we pray Thee to keep us from evil. Give us
neither poverty nor riches, feed us with bread convenient for
us. And let Thy songs be our delight in the houses of our
pilgrimage. God of our Fathers be our God: may their people be
our people, their faith our faith. We are strangers on the
earth, hide not Thy com-mandments from us, but may the love of
Christ constrain us. Entreat us not to leave Thee or refrain
from following after Thee. Thy people shall be our people. Thou
shalt be our God.
Our life is a pilgrim's progress. I once saw a very
beautiful picture: it was a landscape at evening. In the
distance on the right-hand side a row of hills appeared blue in
the evening mist. Above those hills the splendour of the
sunset, the grey clouds with their linings of silver and gold
and purple. The landscape is a plain or heath covered with
grass and its yellow leaves, for it was in autumn. Through the
landscape a road leads to a high mountain far, far away, on the
top of that mountain is a city wherein the setting sun casts a
glory. On the road walks a pilgrim, staff in hand. He has been
walking for a good long while already and he is very tired. And
now he meets a woman, or figure in black, that makes one think
of St. Paul's word: As being sorrowful yet always rejoicing.
That Angel of God has been placed there to encourage the
pilgrims and to answer their questions.
And the pilgrim asks her: Does the road go uphill then all
the way?” And the answer is: “Yes to the very
end.” And he asks again: “And will the journey take
all day long?” And the answer is: “From morn till
night my friend.”
And the pilgrim goes on sorrowful yet always rejoicing -
sorrowful because it is so far off and the road so long.
Hopeful as he looks up to the eternal city far away,
resplendent in the evening glow and he thinks of two old
sayings that he heard long ago - the one is:
“Much strife must be striven
Much suffering must be suffered
Much prayer must be prayed
And then the end will be peace.”
And the other is
“The water comes up to the lips
But higher comes it not.”
And he says: I shall be more and more tired but also nearer
and nearer to Thee. Has not man a strife on earth? But there is
a consolation from God in this life. An Angel of God comforting
man - that is the Angel of Charity. Let us not forget her. And
when each of us goes back to the daily things and daily duties
let us not forget that things are not what they seem, that God
by the things of daily life teacheth us higher things, that our
life is a pilgrim's progress, and that we are strangers on the
earth, but that we have a God and father who preserveth
strangers, - and that we are all brethren.
Amen.
And now the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of
God the Father and the fellowship of the Holy Ghost, be with us
forever more.
Amen.
(Reading: Psalm 91.)
Once more, a handshake in my thoughts. Yesterday evening I
went to Turnham Common to take the service for Mr. Jones, who
was not well. I walked there with the oldest of the boys, he is
17 but as tall as I am and has a beard. He is due to go into
business later, his father has a large factory. He has an
honest, good, sensitive heart and a great need of religion. His
hope and desire are to do good among the working people when he
is older. I recommended Eliot's Felix Holt to him.
It was beautiful in the park with the old elm trees I the
moonlight and the dew on the grass. It felt so good speaking in
the little church - it is a wooden church.
Bye, Theo, bye, my boy. I hope I have written this so you
are able to read it. Keep your spirits up and get better
soon.
At this time, Vincent was 23 year oldSource: Vincent van Gogh. Letter to Theo van Gogh. Written 31 October 1876 in Isleworth. Translated by Mrs. Johanna van Gogh-Bonger, edited by Robert Harrison, number 079. URL: https://www.webexhibits.org/vangogh/letter/4/079.htm.
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