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Listen, Theo, what's the matter with you?
Didn't you receive my last letter, in which I told you what
happened at home, and how in consequence I left the house and
went back to The Hague and am now settled in my own studio:
address Schenkweg No. 138 (near Rynspoor station).
You know Mauve helped me to get settled, but I still have a
great many expenses, and for the last few days I really have
not had a penny in my pocket. Of course I had counted
positively on your sending me at least 100 frs. for the month
But up to now I have not received anything, not even a
letter from you. The worst is that I cannot work with a model
until I have some money in my pocket again, so I can hardly do
anything, as the weather is too bad to sit outside, though I
tried it several times.
I am all right, but the last few days I have been faint with
suspense. I have been looking for models, and found a few, but
I cannot take them.
In desperation I went today to Goupil's, for according to
what you wrote me I thought as a last resort I would ask
Tersteeg to lend me something. But Tersteeg had just gone out
of town for a few days.
I must put a good face on the matter when I'm with Mauve;
Mauve has really done enough.
Tersteeg had promised to come to see me, but he has not been
here yet. If for some reason or other you cannot send the 100
frs. at once, send me at least part of it by return mail.
I found a stamp in my pocket just now, otherwise I should
not be able to send you this letter. It is a time of struggle
for you and for me, but I think we are making progress. So let
us keep courage. Adieu, with a handshake,
Yours sincerely, Vincent
At this time, Vincent was 28 year old
Vincent van Gogh. Letter to Theo van Gogh. Written 5-6 January 1882 in The Hague. Translated by Mrs. Johanna van Gogh-Bonger, edited by Robert Harrison, number 168.
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