| | 2 letters relate to psychology - hallucinations... | Excerpt length: shorter longer | |
| Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh
(28 January 1889)
... so much the
worse. I can't help it.
However, the unbearable hallucinations have ceased,
and are now getting reduced to a simple nightmare, in consequence of my
taking bromide of potassium, I think.
It is still beyond my powers to go into the details of this
money question, and yet I want to do that very thing, and I am
furiously at work from morning till night, to prove to you
(unless my work is another hallucination), to prove to you that
indeed and indeed we are following Monticelli's track, and
what's more, that we have a light before our feet and a lamp
upon our path in the powerful work of Brias of Montpellier, who
did so much to create a school in the South.
Only don't be too amazed if during the next month I shall be
obliged to ask you for the month's money in full and some extra
money as well.
After all it is only right that during periods of
productivity, on which I spend all my vital warmth, I should
insist on what is necessary in order to... | Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh
(22 May 1889)
... or Pissaro's, relined.
Again - speaking of my condition - I am so
grateful for yet
another thing. I've noticed that others, too, hear sounds and
strange voices during their attacks, as I did, and that things
seemed to change before their very eyes. And that lessened the
horror with which I remembered my first attack, something that,
when it comes upon you unexpectedly, cannot but frighten you
terribly. Once you know it is part of the illness, you accept
it like anything else. Had I had not seen other lunatics close
to, I should not have been able to stop myself from thinking
about it all the time. For the suffering and the anguish are
not funny when you are having an attack.
Most epileptics bite their tongue and injure themselves. Rey
told me that he had seen a case where someone had mutilated his
own ear, just as I did, and I think I heard a doctor from here,
who came to see me with the director, say that he too had seen
it before. I like to think that once... |
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