Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh (c. 2 August 1883) ... too. Well, it's nothing but weakness. I have
repeatedly put off taking more nourishing food because there
were other things more pressing, but it has lasted a little too
long.
But you will understand that the work is rather important,
and I could not drop it now for the very reason that so much of
it is already done. When you come, you will see for yourself
that it is necessary to go on steadily. You are right in saying
that what I wrote you about the finances weighs on your mind,
but on the other hand, we cannot now be far from the moment
when I shall make something that is saleable, even if it be for
a small price.
The work becomes more and more clear to me.
And when I think it over, it is only a question of hurrying
or slackening speed, and we shall make up for it later, even
for the past; but after all it is a damn thorny, difficult and
hard time we are going through now.
If it were possible for me to get enough money to have
sufficient...
Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh (c. 11 August 1883) ... life could
be to preserve my health, I meant that there are circumstances
when one has to choose between one's work and having nothing to
eat, or between eating and dropping one's work (namely, when
the work brings expenses and for the moment yields no
profit).
In some cases I prefer the former, and do not think I am
wrong, for our work remains, but we do not, and the main thing
is to create; I would rather have a few years of that than
years of brooding over it and putting it off. And I said to
Rappard then that for my part I thought there was truth in the
mysterious saying, “whosoever will save his life shall
lose it, but whosoever will lose his life for the Gospel's sake
shall find it.”
Adieu, boy, I hope to see you soon. With a handshake,
Yours sincerely, Vincent
...
Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh (c. 15 December 1885) ... c. 15 December 1885
Dear Theo,
Today for the
first time I feel rather faint - I had painted
a picture of “Het Steen” and went to show it to
some dealers.
Oh dear. Do try to keep me afloat these two weeks, for I
want to paint some more figures. This morning I heard it said
that some of those pictures I wrote you about had been sold
privately - there was a rumour of 21,000 fr. I don't know if it
is true, but at all events there was a crowd of spectators when
I was there, and the exhibition for the raffle was also
crowded. If there were more better things on view,...
Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh (c. 19 December 1885) ... one might have to earn
something.
But whatever and wherever I may want to start, of course I
must have things to show. Because I need all my good spirits,
all my vitality, I must confess I am afraid of feeling
physically weak.
I showed my view of “Het Steen” to another
dealer, who liked its tone and colour, but he was too engrossed
in making up his inventory, and besides, he has little room,
but he asked me to come back after New Year's. It is just the
thing for foreigners who want to have a souvenir of Antwerp,
and for that reason I shall make even more city views of that
kind.
So yesterday I made a few drawings of a spot with a view of
the Cathedral.
I also made a little one of the Park.
But I prefer painting people's eyes to cathedrals, for there
is something in the eyes that is not in the cathedral, however
solemn and imposing the latter may be - a human soul, be it
that of a poor beggar or of a streetwalker, is more interesting
...
Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh (28 December 1885) ... the only way to
ensure real progress.
I've discovered that my appetite has been held in check a
bit too long and when I received your money I couldn't stomach
any food. But I shall certainly do my best to remedy that. it
doesn't take away from the fact that I have all my wits and
energy about me when I'm painting. But when I'm out of doors,
work in the open air is too much for me and I come over all
weak.
Well, painting is something that wears one out. However, Van
der Loo [the van Gogh's doctor in Brabant] said, when I
consulted him shortly before I came here, that I am reasonably
strong après tout. That I needn't despair of reaching
the requisite age to produce a complete body of work. I told
him that I knew several painters who, for all their
nervousness, etc., had reached the age of 60, or even 70,
fortunately for themselves, and that I should like to do the
same.
I also believe that if one aims for serenity, and retains
one's zest for...
