van Gogh's letters - unabridged and annotated
 
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18721891

 31 letters relate to feelings - homesick...Excerpt length: shorter longer  
Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh
(19 November 1877)
... Dear Theo, I am eager to write you again, because I often think of you and I wish it were Christmas, when we shall see each other again. Here, the dark days before Christmas are as a long procession at the end of which shines such a light, the feast of the Nativity: the friendly lighthouse behind the rocks, when the water comes crashing against them on a dark night. This feast of Christmas has always been for us a bright spot, and may it always remain so. For the first time there has been an entrance examination at the university, I, too, shall have to take it here in this city. Besides the ordinary subjects, Latin, Greek, algebra and mathematics, one has to pass examinations on history, geography and Dutch grammar. I have been looking for an algebra and mathematics teacher; I have found one, the cousin of Mendes, Teixeira de Mattos, who teaches religion at the Jewish pauper school. He has given me hope to cover all the programs before the month of October...
Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh
(4 December 1877)
... Lemud would have drawn her figure well. I should like so much to be with you in Haarlem; anyway, write when and for how long you get leave. Oh, boy! I long so much for Christmas and for home and for you. Bring all the prints you can with you; even though I know them, I shall enjoy seeing them again. So another year has almost passed by, in which many things have happened to me; I look back on it with thankfulness. When I think over the time I spent at Braat's and the months of study here, upon the whole they have really been two good things. Boy, if next Christmas I might be at the university and had overcome the difficulties at the start, as I am now over the beginnings of Latin and Greek, how happy I should be. “Indefessus favente Deo” [unwearied by God's favour] is a good state to be in; it is a saying that Mendes loves. He spoke to me about it last Saturday. Today I wrote to Harry Gladwell, and also sent your regards. I hope that he will go home...
Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh
(9 December 1877)
... the ivy-covered tree; I hope it may happen. I cannot tell you how I long for Christmas. I do hope Father will be satisfied with what I have done. It was such delightful weather today, and it was so beautiful between the hawthorn hedges around the little church when the twilight began to fall. This week I had a conversation with Mendes about “the man who hates not his own life, cannot be my disciple.” Mendes asserted that the expression was too strong, but I held that it was the simple truth; and doesn't Thomas a Kempis say the same thing when he speaks about knowing and hating oneself? When we look at others who have done more than we and are better than we, we very soon begin to hate our own life because it is not as good as others'. Look at a man like Thomas a Kempis, who wrote his little book with a simplicity and sincerity unequalled by any other writer, either before or since; or, in another sphere, look at Millet's work or Jules Dupré's “The...
Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh
(10 February 1878)
... You can imagine how the days flew by. After having taken father to the station, after having watched the train until it disappeared and the smoke was no longer visible, I returned home; Father's chair was still near the table with the books and copybooks we had examined that day; and though I know that we shall see each other again pretty soon, I cried like a child. This morning I was in the English Church, and met Wierda as I was leaving. We walked part of the way together, and he asked me if I would come to see his room - he lives on the Weeringstraat. I went home with him and stayed for lunch, until about three o'clock, and saw his books and heard various things about his life. Then home again, and translated a page or so from Caesar. This afternoon I was at Uncle Stricker's;
Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh
(18 February 1878)
... Dear Theo, Thanks for your letter of February 17; it made me very happy, as I had been looking forward to it so much. And I am answering it at once, boy, for I think of you and long for you so often, and every morning the prints on the wall of my little study remind me of you - “Christus Consolator”; the woodcut after Van Goyen, “Dordrecht”; “Le Four” by Rousseau, etc. - for I received them all from you. So the pot was calling the kettle black when you wrote me that I ought not to send you a print for your room sometimes when I find one that I think you will like. In my turn I say, Enough of that; but tell me if you have got some new acquisitions for your collection lately. Last evening at Uncle Cor's I saw a whole volume of that magazine, L'Art; you have the issue with the wood engravings after Corot. I was especially struck by wood engravings after drawings by Millet, including “Falling Leaves,” “The Ravens' Wedding,”...

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