| | 57 letters relate to feelings - ambition... | Excerpt length: shorter longer | |
| Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh
(30 October 1877)
... those in the Faubourg St.
Germain.)
Oh, boy, I shall be too glad for words if I can pass my
examination; if I can overcome the difficulties, it will be in
all simplicity of heart but also in prayer to God, for I often
pray fervently to Him for the wisdom I need. And then that He
may once grant that I write and preach many sermons - the more,
the better - resembling our father's, and finish a work in my
life, with every day bringing some improvement.
I spent Monday evening at Uncle Cor's, and saw Aunt and the
whole family; all send you their kindest regards. Uncle showed
me that book, L'Oeuvre Gravé de Ch. Aubigny.
From there I went to Uncle Stricker's and had a long talk
with him and Aunt, for Mendes had been to see them a few days
ago (one must not talk too lightly about genius, even though
one believes there is more of it in the world than many
suppose, but Mendes certainly is a very remarkable person, and
I am and will remain grateful for my contact with... | Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh
(19 November 1877)
... October, I will have made up in a lot less time. May God grant
me the necessary wisdom and grant my wishes, that He will allow
me to end my studies as early as possible in order that I
become ordained, so that I can perform the duties of a
clergyman.
The preparatory studies, which precede theological studies
proper, which will be exercises in preaching and recitation,
consist of history, Dutch grammar, the geography of Greece,
Asia Minor and Italy. I apply myself to these studies with the
tenacity of a dog that gnaws a bone; I should also like to know
the grammar, history and geography of the Nordic countries,
particularly those countries that border on the North Sea and
the Channel.
At last I succeeded in making a map of Asia Minor, Greece
and Italy, rather a large one (on which the travels of Paul are
also indicated) and one of England which finally has the
quality I wanted - Mendes, for one, sees it - namely that it
has been made with feeling and love. The names I... | Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh
(25 November 1877)
... precise idea
of history in general.
Old son, if I can pass my examinations, it will be a
blessing! If I pass the first examination with all those
subjects which seem simple but are difficult enough, I shall
have good courage for what must follow…
I must set to work now, Latin exercises for tomorrow morning
and other things. Write me soon if you can, and have as good a
time as possible. I hope to have copied a few more of those
maps by Stieler before Christmas. Now I am studying, though it
may cost a little more effort, it must be done well, and
I will try to do it the way I see others who take their work
seriously do; it is a race and a fight for my life - no
more, no less. Whoever gets through this course of study and
perseveres in it to the end will not forget it as long as he
lives; to have done this will be something to treasure.
What a good employee that Wierda is; he is very clever too,
I think. There are a great many nice people in the book
... | Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh
(18 February 1878)
... the servant, requesting that it be given to him. I want to
do such things now and then, for it certainly is very doubtful
that I shall ever succeed, I mean, shall ever pass all the
examinations. Five years at the least is a very long time; if
one begins earlier, it is so much easier. It is true I can work
longer and concentrate better, and things that many others care
about have no attraction for me; but, after all, the work costs
me great effort. Even if I fail, I want to leave my mark here
and there behind me.
There are so many, many things one has to know, and though
they try to reassure me, it constantly gives me a terribly
anxious feeling. There is no remedy but to set to work again,
since it is clearly my duty to do this, whatever it
costs. So I must push on, for standing still or going back is
out of the question: it would make things even more difficult
and cause confusion - and the end would mean the necessity of
beginning all over again.
I had a nice... | Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh
(3 April 1878)
... (by the grace of God unwearied)]
As for me, I must become a good preacher, who has something
to say that is right and is of use in the world, and perhaps it
is as well that I should spend a relatively long time on
preparation and be securely confirmed in an unwavering faith
before I am called to speak to others about it. (It is fitting
that before one embarks upon that work, a treasure should be
gathered up that others can enjoy). Let us but go forth
quietly, testing everything and holding fast to what is good,
and trying all the time to learn more of what is useful and
adds to our experience. Weemoed [Melancholy] may be a
good experience, provided we write it as two words: wee
[woe], which is in every man, each of us having reason enough,
but it must be allied to moed [courage], and the more
the better, for it is good to be someone who never
despairs.
If only we try to live righteously, we shall fare well, even
though we are bound to encounter... |
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