| | 18 letters relate to attitude - people... | Excerpt length: shorter longer | |
| Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh
(6 July 1882)
... and
often even pour oil on the fire. I do not like to be in
company, and often find it painful and difficult to mingle with
people, to speak to them. But do you know what the cause is -
if not at all, of a great deal of this? Simply nervousness; I
am terribly sensitive, physically as well as morally, the
nervousness having developed during those miserable years which
drained my health. Ask any doctor, and he will understand at
once that nights spent in the cold street or in the open, the
anxiety to get bread, a continual strain because I was out of
work, the estrangement from friends and family, caused at least
three-fourths of my peculiarities of temper, and that those
disagreeable moods or times of depression must be ascribed to
this. But you, or anyone who will take the trouble to think it
over, will not condemn me, I hope, because of it, nor find me
unbearable. I try to fight it off, but that does not change my
temperament; and even though this may be my bad side, confound
... | Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh
(3 January 1883)
... more, and then
we can talk about the future. You know well enough how unfit I
am to cope with either dealers or art lovers, and how contrary
it is to my nature. I should like it so much if we could always
continue as we are now, but it often makes me sad to think that
I must always be a burden to you. But who knows, in time you
may be able to find someone who takes an interest in my work,
who will take from your shoulders the burden which you took
upon yourself at the most difficult time. This can only happen
when it is quite evident that my work is serious, when it
speaks more clearly for itself than it does now.
I myself am too fond of a very simple life to wish to change
it, but later on, in order to do greater things, I shall have
greater expenses, too. I think I shall always work with a model
- always and always. And I must try to arrange matters so that
the whole burden doesn't always fall on you.
This is only a beginning - later you will get better things
from me,... | Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh
(c. 20-24 February 1883)
... more
readily than I had expected.
If one had to deal with people only inside the studio! But
personally I cannot get on well with people outside of it, and
cannot get them to do anything.
I've been drawing a few figures, rather large-size, bust or
half-length, which, with a few others I already had, will
become a kind of decoration for the hall and stairs, though
they are really nothing but ordinary studies.
So you can see from all this that I have thrown myself
headlong into it again, in order to get new ideas.
For instance, in Voorburg, when I went with him to pick out
that wood, I saw beautiful things of workmen in a shed, and
digging a cellar, and laying the foundation of a house. Then I
thought again of the description you once gave me of those
workmen in Montmartre when you witnessed an accident in a stone
quarry.
You know, I already had something in front of the windows,
namely some canvas stretched on rods. This can be used for
something else now,... | Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh
(c. 15 May 1884)
... in her Bath chair to see my new studio.
Recently I have been getting on better with people here than
I did at first, which is of great importance to me, for one
decidedly needs some distraction, and if one feels too lonely,
the work always suffers from it; however, perhaps one must be
prepared for it not to last.
But I feel quite optimistic about it, it seems to me that in
general the people in Nuenen are better than those in Etten or
Helvoirt; there is more sincerity here, at least that is my
impression after having been here for some time.
It is true the people here look at things from a clergyman's
point of view, but in such a way that I, for my part, don't
feel any scruple in putting up with it.
And the Brabant of one's dreams, reality almost comes
very near it sometimes.
I admit that my original intention of settling in Brabant,
which came to naught, again has a strong attraction for me. But
knowing how such a plan can fail, we must wait and see whether
... | Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh
(c. 7 December 1884)
... received specially for St. Nicholas.
I will begin by telling you that your letter greatly amazed
me - seeing that there have been no differences of any
importance between Father, Mother and myself, and as to the
Begemann ladies, they looked in on Father and Mother only the
other day in considerable numbers - and they have done so not
just once but many times. Whether they drop in quite as
frequently as formerly or less frequently is something I cannot
see has anything to do with me, nor am I interested in it.
That I decidedly disapproved of their attitude, and that I
shall go on decidedly disapproving of it, is something I told
them once - and I did not mince words - without
returning to the subject.
But this has nothing to do with their visiting our house or
not, which is something that concerns Father and Mother and
themselves - and not me. I have always behaved
courteously towards all the members of the family, and I did
not start the trouble,... |
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