van Gogh's letters - unabridged and annotated
 
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18721891

 24 letters relate to attitude - family...Excerpt length: shorter longer  
Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh
(2-3 June 1882)
... one starts shouting about the law. But this is what happens so often in our family - there is some gossip, it is inflated, it is exaggerated to the limit; and then they form an opinion or a resolution about someone, sometimes wholly without the particular person's knowledge or without having talked it over with him, only taking notice of impressions, hearsay, communications (the devil take them, particularly the last!). Our venerable Uncle Cent also has a way of gathering “information” which I consider anything but fair. As for me, when I saw such things happen at home, I told Father often enough, You will find no blessing in it. Just think, Theo, how different things might have been at home, for instance, if Father could have been less distrustful of me, a bit less suspicious; if, instead of considering me a person who could only do wrong, he had shown more patience and good will in order to understand my real intentions - in which he has always been sorely...
Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh
(3 June 1883)
... one could not expect anything else. But coming from Father and Mother, who ought to be humble and contented with simple things, I think their speaking that way very wicked, and I feel something like shame at their behaviour. I wish we only strove for peace in our homes, and stinted ourselves rather than strain after a high position. And used our energy to increase our spiritual refinement and humaneness, but were contented with the most simple things as a matter of principle. So I regret it, and it grieves me; again, I am horribly disappointed at Father and Mother saying such a thing. I should be willing to do anything to undo this. I should like to be proud of Father, because he is truly a poor village preacher in the pure sense of the Gospel, but I think it so rotten that Father stoops to such considerations as something not being in keeping with “the dignity of his calling.” My opinion is that one might expect Father to co-operate as ...
Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh
(c. 7-8 December 1883)
... take how it looks into consideration. I tell you frankly that more and more I think the spirit prevailing in our family, especially in Father, and for instance in C.M. is wrong. With regard to you my position is like this: On the one hand I believe there is yet a possibility of your character, like mine, repudiating many things we have been taught - aye, I say it is possible that a revulsion of feeling will come about in your mind, either gradually or suddenly, and that this will force you to adopt a new conception of life, which perhaps will finally result in your becoming a painter. On the other hand, in sharp contrast to this, there is, for instance, your saying last summer, “I am getting more and more like Father.” If this were true - that is to say, if you were to become more and more a “Van Gogh,” a character like Father or C.M. and if by always being in business you should acquire a conception of life entirely different from...
Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh
(c. 17 December 1883)
... dog, accept them for what they are. This house is also too good for me, and Father and Mother and the family are so exceedingly refined (though not sensitive underneath), and - and - there are clergymen, lots of clergymen. The dog appreciates that if they do keep him, they are only putting up with him, only just tolerating his presence “in this house,” so he will try to track down a kennel elsewhere. In fact this dog used to be Father's son once upon a time, and it was Father who left him out in the streets a little too long, so he was bound to become rougher, but seeing that Father forgot this many years ago and has never thought deeply about what the bond between father and son means, we had best say nothing about it. And then - the dog could easily bite - he could easily become rabid - and the village policeman would have to come round and shoot him. Oh yes, all that is perfectly true, no doubt about it. On the other hand, dogs...
Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh
(c. 21 March 1884)
... stupid to go on in this way, stupid! When I read over the letters you've sent me recently, I see in them that you exert yourself to make it look as though I am the one to blame if we part company. This is such a dear little Van Goghish trick, such a nice bit of self-righteousness; for my part I shall not grudge you it if it means something to you. Father would do the same. I know for myself what I have felt during the past year, and what my thoughts are about our friendship - as it is now - unbearable. Whatever may be thought about whether I do right or wrong in speaking as I do, at any rate I'm the one who's taking a chance. Theo, it is more convenient for you to be completely rid of me - personally, if I break with you, especially in financial matters, I have absolutely nothing else, and such a way of doing things is the opposite of the usual tactics of Messrs. Van Gogh & Co. Take this in whatever way you like ———...

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