| | 30 letters relate to Theo - mistress... | Excerpt length: shorter longer | |
| Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh
(14 May 1882)
... letter this
morning suggests.
You mention something that happened to you. I think I am
able to recall something about it very faintly in the dim and
distant past. If I remember rightly, you were acquainted with a
girl from a lower class and … were fond of her and slept
with her. Now I don't know who the person was, but I do know
that you consulted Father about it and also spoke to me about
it. And that Father then made you promise something about
getting married, I don't know exactly what - but perhaps it was
that while you remained a minor you would not do it without his
consent. (The rest - what happened to the woman - I don't
know.) Since you were a minor, Father had every right to step
between the two of you and I can understand why he did it.
Now the difference between your case and mine is that in the
first place you and she were considerably younger than
X tien and I, and secondly, your future and mine are
different, that is, I for my part ply a humble trade... | Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh
(c. 11 January 1883)
... sincerely, Vincent
Theo had met a young woman who was sick and alone in
Paris and had come to her aid [Jo's note].
... | Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh
(c. 13 January 1883)
... activities and surroundings, the better.
Certainly, if you could take her into your house at once - I
should not mention it. But I am afraid it is impossible, and
you yourself could not approve of doing so all at once.
Loneliness or idleness is fatal; she must have a chance to
talk with good people. I think that it would be delightful for
her to be in a homelike atmosphere - for instance, if she could
occupy herself with children. I think it rather a pity she has
no child. I think it makes the case even more critical. Yes, in
my opinion the most practical thing you can do is bring her
into some homelike atmosphere. I think that your main thought
at present is - This life must be saved - and that you
unselfishly think more of her than of yourself.
Last year I could think of only one home for her, namely my
own, and had I been able to act differently, I shouldn't have
taken the woman into my house at once, in order to avoid the
difficulties which could not be avoided now. But... | Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh
(c. 21 January 1883)
... one must go. You, too,
will experience this. One asks oneself, “Must I help this
woman and, for the rest, see her only as a friend, or must I
choose this woman for my wife, with whom I want to live forever
- is she or isn't she the one?”
I think you have not been without this struggle, and perhaps
are still in the midst of it. It would seem rather unnatural to
me if it were otherwise.
I, at least, had that struggle, and it was so difficult that
for myself I could not answer those questions when
circumstances forced me to make a decision.
For I thought, I do not have the means to maintain two
separate households, but perhaps I have them for one,
and so I must tell her how things are, what I might be able to
do and what I certainly could not do. Perhaps we'll be able to
struggle through together, but I haven't enough unless we live
together. Perhaps the struggle is similar for you, but in a
different form. I remember a saying of yours last year... | Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh
(c. 25-29 January 1883)
... never forgets that first expression-
I think it probable that your meeting this woman will take
your thoughts back to the period some ten or even twenty years
ago, and even further back.
Anyway, what I mean is that you will rediscover in her, a
phase of your own life you had nearly forgotten - that is to
say, the past - and I do not know whether, after having been
with her for a year, you will view the present with the same
eyes as, for instance, before you knew her.
Underneath a figure of an English woman (by Paterson) is
written the name Dolorosa; that expresses it well.
I was thinking of the two women now, and at the same time I
thought of a drawing by Pinwell, “The Sisters,” in
which I find that Dolorosa expression. -That drawing represents
two women in black, in a dark room; one has just come home and
is hanging her coat on the rack. The other is smelling a
primrose on the table while picking up some white sewing.
That Pinwell reminds one a little... |
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